Homoerotic Mormon Art in Posters

Lots of art is homoerotic, Mormon art or otherwise. I remember this depiction of Lehi because of Sam, the shirtless guy in the bottom left. Those flaming locks of hair, that shoulder, those forearms and hands always pushed me over the edge just a little.



















Closeted little boys today now have a whole new set of posters to look to for, um, inspiration. These are way better than the ones I had growing up.

My favorite: Samuel the Lamanite, with his bulging thighs and calf muscles like bowling pins wearing this seasons hottest new robe and belt across that low cut skirt. The only thing straight in this picture are the arrows.



























The Brother of Jared who’s real name is Mahonri Moriancumer (“cumer” haha) is seen here in a graceful and manly pose. Girl, I’m loving the leg warmers.



























Dark room? Leather? Bondage?  I declare!



























The Army of Helaman was apparently comprised of 2000 half naked men without a woman to be seen for miles! I still wouldn’t want to join the armed forces but would I let these Stripling Warriors rescue me from peril? Abs and Pecs-aloutly!



























Ammon, you beefcake of a man! How many hours a day are you at the gym? I mean, look at those arms! (I’m a sucker for nice arms.) That shoulder is like a grapefruit! Knee-high boots are in this year and what is that around your thigh? A garter of some kind? I like that. (This poster gets me all hot and bothered. Ammon is my dream husband.)



























Don’t worry ladies, there is a poster for you too. Fresh off the runways of that model show, these girls know how to smize, and smize they do! And they are sporting the hottest accessory this year (and every year) for the young Mormon gal… a baby.


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  • Ken
    June 1, 2011


    • adel
      June 3, 2011

      what did you do?!

  • alea
    June 4, 2011

    I’ve been bugged by these posters for so long. Mostly because there’s that weird part where they also have American heroes and thus help to conflate scriptural figures and historical ones. But more so because, where the hell is the Abish poster? If they want to include female heroes, couldn’t they at least have taken the three minutes it would have to remember her story? Sigh…

    • Adelmo
      June 7, 2011

      I know, interesting … do not know much American history and also do not know why the creators of the posters have made this mix … thanks!

  • Gabriel
    September 6, 2011

    soy Gabriel hablas español y nuncas mas ammon

  • Glenda
    April 24, 2013

    Perhaps you should give the fiery oven attire a try like Shadrach, Mesach, and Abedego. Wonder if yours will have that fireproof quality granted by the Lord while you spew your awesome commentary.

    I vote you and those like you all be put on a desert island together. One generation………and you’ll be gone. Oh and thank your parents for being heterosexual would ya?

  • FURM
    August 14, 2014

    To a hammer, everything is a nail.

  • Preston J. Keeler IV
    December 7, 2016

    I am saddened by your sickening, inflammatory, sexual rhetoric. Snark is the poor man’s wit and your disgusting descriptions of these posters do not even reach that level. Oscar Wilde you are not! Obviously either you were once a member of the LDS Church and have chosen not to follow it’s teachings but can’t move on in life or you are just another coward taking pot shots to “stick it to the man”. Either way I feel sorrow for your parents. I am sure as a newborn child they would never have believed this is the sort of creature you would become.

    • J. Seth (I go by Seth) Anderson
      December 19, 2016

      Nope. My parents love and adore me! Don’t speak for them. Have a nice day.
      P.S. 5 years later, those posters are still terrible.

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